Let go of the blaming
Are you in a habit of blaming someone for your past or what’s happening in the present?
Or are you blaming because you’re angry about being bullied in the past or angry at your partner or at one of your friends?
For example:
When you have been bullied, or are currently being bullied, we tend to blame the bullies for the impact and effect they have on our life.
When we get angry at our partner or friends we blame them for the impact effecting our life.
We can often feel angry; sometimes we feel hurt and in pain.
Also in return, we also want them to feel the hurt, pain and the impact they put into our life. Then there is a different type of blame. We start to blame many other events that happen in our life.
For example:
- weather
- traffic
- service
- events
- computers
- family
- people
and much more
Why do we blame others?
When we blame it is called attacking?
We blame others in an attempt to move the unwanted attention away from ourselves. When we do this, we feel fear. We blame them because we hold a grudge against them and we find it difficult to let go.
Many people do a lot of blaming for their life.
You blame because you’re feeling hurt, and in return you want them to suffer the way you are suffering.
What is blaming?
Blame is the discharging of discomfort and pain. Blame is also a form of being in control when we are feeling bad.
When you blame someone for your past or the present, how is this affecting your energy levels, do you feel good about it, or do you feel angrier?
You cannot change someone when that person
doesn’t see an issue in their actions.
By Ronni Denholm.
How does it make you feel when you blame someone for everything bad that happens in your life?
Does it make you feel any better?
Does this solve the problem in any way?
Before I healed myself from being bullied, I was blaming the bullies a lot and I continued this blame for a long time.
However, doing this was eating me up inside and it didn’t make me feel any better; but the reverse – it only made me feel worse.
Every day, I woke up I was blaming the bullies. I wasn’t seeing how it was affecting me personally because I was focusing on the blaming them all the time.
At the time I had to ask myself ‘Are you going to continue to blame for the rest of your life?’ ‘and do I think it’ll make me happy in long term?
I wanted them to pay for what they had done to me. I wanted them to feel the hurt and depth of pain than I am feeling.
I had to learn how to let go of blaming. It took time for me to let go of the blame, when I did, it was a good feeling. It helped me to focus on the positive things which is a much healthier life to live.
Turning the tables on the ‘act of blaming’ itself can be seen as a bad act, or pointing out the blaming so quickly without finding out what really happened.
We all blame for many reasons, we even blame the weather.
If you continue to blame others you will not heal. Your life will become bitter and it will have negative effects on your health. You don’t want to live like that, you want to live a fulfilling, healthy, happy life.
Here are my steps on how you can ‘Making New Habits Work For You’ These are some the tips from my course which is currently in updating process.
I’d like to share them to you…
Write it down
Why are you blaming this person?
- how is this making you feel?
- how much have they messed things up in your life?
- can you continue to live like this?
- what can you do to change this?
It is important to recognize when you are blaming. Being aware is always the first step.
Try not to be judgemental when you let go of the blame, just by letting it go and replacing it with something positive is powerful.
Doing this exercise helps you to recognise how you are blaming and how much it is affecting your life. And what you can do to rid yourself of this old habit of blaming.
You want to live your life in harmony, not always blaming for the rest of your life.
So start today and watch yourself grow out of the old blaming patterns and into the healthy, positive, happy life you’ve always wanted.
Remember, I believe in you
much love
Ronni xx
