Absolutely you can

We have all been hurt in our life and every one of us will have experienced hurt and pain. It is how we react to that hurt and pain and how much we allow it to affect our life.

We’ve all been hurt. You can’t be an adult or teen alive today who hasn’t experienced some kind of emotional pain.

Especially now that we are in crisis

It hurts and I get that.

However, what you do with that hurt is probably more important than the hurt itself. Would you prefer to get back to being active and living life or do you prefer to reflect endlessly about the past and something that you cannot change?

Have you carried the hurt and pain for years and stopped doing the things you once loved doing?

If you let go of one of the hurt then that hurt and pain eases away

The problem with blaming is that it can often leave you powerless. For example, if a person (say your boss, your spouse, your parent, your child), says hurtful words to you by putting you down or worse, then you’re left with all this anger and hurt and no resolution.

All your feelings are legitimate. It is important to feel them fully, and then move on. 

Nursing your grievances indefinitely is a bad habit, because it hurts you more than it hurts them.

People who hold on to these past hurts often relive the pain over and over in their minds and can even get “stuck” in this pain, in this hurt, in this blame.

You can heal all past hurt and pain that has happened in your life.

I have witnessed people who have held onto their past hurt and pain finding it hard to move forward or to let it go. They hold this hurt for years forgetting there is a wonderful life ahead. Forgetting they can turn their life around.

I have witnessed people who have let go of their pain by using the tools from my program; they now live a happier life and never wish to dwell on the past hurt and pain again.

One of my clients held on to her deepest hurt and was in pain for years; she couldn’t let go even though she knew this was stopping her enjoying her life.

I worked with her on trust as she had found it very difficult to trust herself and others.  With each step I had encouraged her to believe in herself. This took time for her to do, however she found a way to believe in herself; when she began to believe in herself, she began to trust herself.  She was learning to peel the layers of hurt away. She let go of the most difficult hurt and pain from her past. She couldn’t believe the relief she felt and opened the doors to new opportunities in life.

She now lives a happier life, she met a wonderful man whom then she married. She no longer thinks of her past; she looks forward to the future.

If you continue to live with the hurt and pain you will continue to suffer and make things worse for yourself. You don’t want to do this to yourself. You also don’t want to create more burden on yourself during the crisis we are in.

Letting go is a way of growing beyond; it’s closing one door and opening another door of great opportunities ahead.

You might find something that you like doing and wonder why you didn’t think of it before?

Opportunity is giving you hope; you must have hope and faith in your life.

Here are a few of my key points to let go of past hurts:

Make the decision to let it go

Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to make the commitment to “let it go”.

If you don’t make this decision up front you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from this past hurt.

Making the sensible decision to let pain go means you are accepting that you have a choice to let it go.

To stop reliving the past pain, to stop going over the details of the story in your head every time you think of the other person.

This is empowering to most people, knowing that it is their choice to either hold on to the pain, or to live a future life without it.

Stop being the victim and blaming others

Being the victim feels good it’s like being on the winning team of you against the world. However, guess what, it is time for you to think about why you continue to go around in circles about it.

Yes, you are special. Yes, your feelings matter. Don’t confuse “your feelings matter” to “your feelings should override all else, and nothing else matters.” Your feelings are just one part of this large thing we call life, which is all linked and complex. And messy. 

Focus on the present the here and now and joy

Now it’s time to give yourself permission to let go. Let go of the past, and stop reliving it. Stop telling yourself that you are forever the victim of this other person’s horrible actions. You can’t undo the past, all you can do is to make today the best day of your life.

Forgive them and yourself.

We may not have forgotten another person’s bad behaviours, however everybody deserves our forgiveness. Sometimes we get stuck in our pain and our stubbornness, we can’t even imagine forgiveness. Forgiveness isn’t saying, “I agree with what you did.” Instead, it’s saying, “I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway.”

I know this stuff is hard and that it’s incredibly hard to let go of one’s pain. You can do this you can let it go. In my past I struggled myself to forgive. It made me feel better to forgive; it helps closing that door.

No one’s life should be defined by their pain. It’s not healthy, it adds more stress, and it hurts our ability to focus and it impacts every other relationship we have, even the ones not directly affected by the hurt. Every day you choose to hold on to the pain is another day everybody around you has to live with that decision.

So, do something different today and welcome happiness back into your life.

Remember, I believe in you
Much love Ronni xx